UK Garment News
- At May 09, 2004
- By Bob Howe
- In Blog Posts
9
It is the mission of this blog to bring you breaking news on the location of your missing foundation garments. Today’s report comes from the United Kingdom, where it must surely be a slow news week:
BBC News reports that A pub chain is appointing “bra maids” to collect underwear discarded by over-enthusiastic revellers.
Brannigans has collected 124 bras so far this year from its 15 outlets, and wants see them returned to their rightful owners…. Bras are not the only items lefts behind by their owners after a night out. Brannigan’s top ten of lost property also includes false nails, chest wigs and garters.
Chest wigs. Let that sink in for a moment.
The BBC also reports that Swedish army underpants are MIA
Swedish soldiers are so attached to their military-issue green camouflage underpants that 3,199 pairs of them went missing last year. The garments topped the list of items that recruits failed to account for when the army does its inventory.
The Swedish government is keeping track of its soldiers’ underwear. Think about that the next time you buy a Volvo.
Finally, the BBC also reports that A special Presley tartan has been designed to honour the King of Rock and Roll’s north east of Scotland roots.
Elvis’s alleged roots can be traced back to tiny Lonmay in Aberdeenshire. Now an official Presley of Lonmay tartan has been invented. It is made up of four different colours – blue, grey, green and yellow.
Next up, the Elvis Haggis, stuffed with Valium, Nembutal, Seconal, cocaine, Dilaudid and Quaaludes.
holyoutlaw
I guess chest wigs are better than earwigs, but I still wouldn’t want to have one.
steelbrassnwood
Elvis Tartan
Now that’s just silly. How could they make an Elvis tartan without gold lamé?
shunn
Re: Elvis Tartan
I hear they’re making a Carl Perkins tartan with blue suede.
steelbrassnwood
This could go on for a loooong time…
Staying with the Sun Records theme, you’d have the Johnny Cash tartan, using black, black, black and black.
shunn
Re: This could go on for a loooong time…
LOL. I fold. You’ve just elegantly collapsed the series there.
shunn
I’d sure like to lose mine.
admin
One wonders if there’s an “asswig.” One merely wonders.
admin
Re: This could go on for a loooong time…
Collapsed the series, indeed. Though I think “Son, are you saying I wear a dress?” is the actual Johnny Cash tartan.
mckitterick
HAHAHAHAHAAHA!
Say, speaking of Sweden, they have free college tuition and free universal health care. All for a bit higher taxes. And, yeah, you gotta live in Sweden…
Chris