From the Department of Too Much Optimism

Isn’t there an ancient chinese curse that goes something like: “May you live in interesting times?” Frankly, I think they’ve got the right spin on this thing. Like when they buy the house after the plane crash in The World According to Garp. I mean … how much worse can it get?

*thinks about the movie for a second*

Oh, wait … nevermind.

Yeah, that didn’t turn out so well, did it. I wonder what the Chinese expression for “Crashing into your wife’s lover’s car while she’s giving him head” is?

Couldn’t tell you, but I’m sure I’ve seen it on a dim-sum cart in a tentacle platter.

Forget me, I’m tired.

hahahahahahahaha!

Maybe he was being sarcastic? Maybe? Possibly? It could be. You could easily sneer that line if you wanted to. Try it yourself!

Maybe the BBC reporter was being led down the garden path by the official government translator. What the man REALLY said:

Oh, this is just GREAT! What will the Party do next, drop a building on my wife? Crash a plane full of bioweapons into my children’s school? Invite Martha Stewart to visit our province?

Yes, I’ve had that: Golden Penis of Dragon in Buddha’s Embrace.

But this leads me to a question I’ve had for a LONG time. Every Chinese restaurant I’ve ever eaten at, bar none, has had a dish on the menu called Buddha’s Delight. Why is it that I’ve never been in an Italian restaurant that offered Jesus’ Favorite Broccoli Rabe, or The Virgin Mary’s Happy Ravioli? Or that I’ve never been in a Middle Eastern restaurant that had Mohammed’s Falafel or Ali’s Yummy Tabouli on the menu?

I think it’s just wrong!

How the hell do you make font sizes larger in this thing? title tag? Because I can’t even tell you how much this deserves an obscene HA HA HA HA

You are insane.

There’s a useful explanation here.

But thank you.

PS—A useful explanation of font sizing in HTML, I should say. There IS an explanation for why I’m insane, but it’s not very useful.

Well, aren’t I ashamed! I didn’t look that up myself ( sizing, not why you’re insane).

I wanted to respond while I was still experiencing the laugh so it was natural. There was no time for learnin’.

But I think I might have found an answer to your Buddha/Jesus food question- Mohammed’s on his own for right now. I was a “lapsed Catholic” at five years old, so I’m the last person to consult in these matters, but from what I remember, Jesus was kind of thin. Mary, too. Maybe no one would want to eat “Jesus with vodka sauce”. In fact, i think the very mention of such a dish is enough to put me into hell.

Thanks, Bob!

…i think the very mention of such a dish is enough to put me into hell.

*Laughing*

Right, THAT’S the blasphemous thing, not suggesting that Christ and the Virgin Mother are borderline anorexics. You’re killing me here!