Crime Rebate

I was thinking about the criminal behavior of the Bush administration, and its opposition to the International Criminal Court, and it occurred to me that the average American should get some of the benefits of this tilt toward lawlessness. A kind of crime rebate: say two felonies and five misdemeanors.
How would you use your crime rebate?

My Kink is Okay, Your Kink is Just Weird

Woman Seeks Medical Help to Remove Deer Tongue She Had Used for Masturbatory Purposes
I just love stories like this, not to poke fun at this poor girl, but because it’s a hilarious example of the plasticity of human sexuality. On the one hand you have the Family Research Council (“defending family, faith and freedom”) denouncing anything that isn’t married, heterosexual missionary sex for procreation, and on the other hand you have girls doing the wild thing with deer tongues.
Ever since I’ve had any settled notions about sex, I’ve believed that what consenting adults do with each other, or alone, is their own business: not the church’s business; not the state’s business; and certainly not the business of the least imaginative and most repressed members of their community. That’s not to say that all sexual behavior is healthy, or pretty, but if adults are allowed to eat McDonald’s french fries, drink malt liquor, and watch Fox News, they ought to be allowed other unhealthy behaviors without interference–as long as those behaviors don’t impinge upon anyone else’s well being. (Okay, that caveat is a pretty strong argument for jailing Rupert Murdoch, but you get my drift.)
The Family Values types are happy to tell you that your sexual preferences aren’t “natural.” That’s because the Family Values people don’t know much about sexual behavior in nature. I don’t know that “natural” is the standard we should be shooting for: polio vaccine, cathedrals, literature and microwave burritos aren’t natural in the sense that the professional scolds use the word. There is nothing natural about Ann Coulter, God knows, or the fleshy, oversized head of Bill O’Reilly, but you don’t hear the Family Research Council calling for their involuntary institutionalization.
You could say our girl with the deer tongue exercised poor judgment; in fact, you could say Eeeew! But what you can’t say is that you’ve never watched Pat Robertson on television and wondered how he’d look in fishnets and a really tight bustier.

By the way, if you’re not familiar with the Urban Legends Reference Pages, or Snopes.com, it is an excellent resource, and makes for very entertaining browsing.
Hoping your kinks are fun kinks.

You Know…

You know that the administration is in trouble when the Unification Church begins to seem sane by comparison. In a fascinating Washington Post column, Tension of the Times, David Ignatius talks about the church’s turn toward multilateralism, setting the stage for a showdown with the neocon editors of The Washington Times, which is owned by the Unification Church:

Insiders say the church’s new line is that with the end of the Cold War, it’s important to support international organizations such as the United Nations and to campaign for world peace and interfaith understanding. That stance would be awkward for the Times’s hard-line editor in chief, Wesley Pruden, and its stable of neoconservative columnists.